During the holiday season, we may be spending more time with older family members. Communicating with the seniors in our lives can sometimes be challenging. Physical and medical factors, such as hearing/vision loss, memory loss, or ill-fitting dentures, can leave the elderly feeling angry and frustrated when they are unable to keep up with even a simple conversation. They may feel lonely and isolated, and may fear a loss of control in their lives when asked to discuss personal matters. And ever-changing telephone technology presents its own obstacles to communication for the senior set. However, there are several strategies and skills we can use to ease the communication process with our loved ones and keep the stress level down.
Patience is probably the most essential tool of all when talking to the elderly. This includes listening carefully, not rushing the speaker, and never interrupting or finishing their sentences for them. Understand that the elderly may speak more slowly, and may be focused more on “reflecting” than “action.” Don’t try to rush the process or the speaker may become stubborn or resistant. If they are repeating the same stories, ask them for new details or further information.
Try to understand what’s important to your parents. Ask their opinion or tell them about your day. Pull out some family photos and ask questions about them. Ask seniors about their careers, military service, or the way they raised their family. Share in their grief, worry, or joy.
If talking about a concern, be sure to only bring up one issue at a time. Keep it simple. Ask questions and offer more than one acceptable solution. Give them a choice as to what they think is best. Remember that issues of control and independence become very important as we age; involve them in the decision process.
Use careful, thoughtful speech by speaking slowly and enunciating clearly. Use a calm tone. Treat the elderly with respect and avoid using patronizing language or tone.
Reduce background noise and distractions, such as the tv or radio. And be sure your loved one uses whatever assistive aids are available, including hearing aids, eyeglasses, or amplified telephone headsets.
When discussing something important with the senior, take notes for them to help them remember what was said. Rephrase important points, and ask questions to confirm they understood. Morning is usually best for discussions on important issues.
If understanding or being understood is a problem, ask for help from a family member or caregiver.
By making time and taking special care, we can ensure that our elderly loved ones feel heard and appreciated, and we can better enjoy the time we spend together.
Senior Helpers can provide caring in-home companions for your loved ones. For more information please visit our website at http://www.seniorhelpers.com/wheaton.
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